Capuchin Monkey to Woodies

These Wednesday's are rolling around faster than any other day of the week, I don't care what anyone tell's ya...

Here is yet another one of my meticulously researched and pulchritudiously presented poems which attempt to dissuade you from bringing various life forms to various places (preferably places of business) - Wildebeests in Waterstones, and Púcas in Poulaphouca - coming up in due course....

A poem which attempts to dissuade you from bringing your Capuchin Monkey to Woodies

Don't bring your Capuchin Monkey to Woodies

He doesn't need brass knobs or rings, and nor should he -

arborial living doesn't need DIY goodies

So tell him his tears he must quench

.

This fiendishly clever tool using monkey*

wouldn't waste any time investing in clunky

aul fixtures and fittings, it wouldn't be funky

Let him know he's being left on the bench

.

No he can't have a lawnmower, a mallet or drill

He can't feast on the nuts, can't go in and spill

all the paint, on the window that's meant for the sill

and there'll be no chance of a monkey wrench

.

For Capuchin Monkeys don't know how to behave

on the decking and fences it'd be very grave

when they'd chew on the edges, you couldn't be saved

No Woodies for your Capuchin Monkey today

*Capuchin Monkeys are one of the first monkeys known to have used tools.

Tonight I'm reading "A Poem which attempts to dissuade you from bringing your Geranium to Boots" at a very special Joycean Chemist based event... there's only room for 20 people at it, including performers, so I didn't advertise too heavily here, but hope you'll all come along in spirit.